About Chuck: Chuck Albers is a care partner, volunteer, and Support Group Facilitator with Giving Voice Foundation’s West Chester Creative Connections program. After caring for his wife, Melisa, throughout her journey with Alzheimer’s disease, Chuck now generously gives his time and heart to supporting other care partners walking a similar road. A lifelong music lover, Chuck believes in the importance of patience, asking for help, finding connection, and holding onto the blessings that remain even during the hardest parts of the dementia journey.

Those who know me best understand the importance of music in my life. I still use an iPod – the last version before they were discontinued – and it has more than 5,000 songs on it. I attend live music whenever possible. Music has just always been part of who I am.

These days, I’m an aging retired guy who enjoys family, travel, music, and working out. My wife, Melisa, introduced me to working out at the Mason Community Center, and it has become an integral part of my daily routine. My days of exotic travel are probably behind me, although I’ve been fortunate to visit some incredible places. Now I enjoy traveling around the country to visit family.

Melisa and I met at church after we had both survived a divorce. We were both volunteering with Youth Programs, and, as it turns out, our kids actually knew each other before we did. We found each other at a point when we were both beginning another chapter of our lives.

Then, in 2017, life changed again when Melisa was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. When greeted with an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, shock and disbelief set in quickly. Melisa put on a brave face and set out to learn as much as she could. We relied heavily on the medical community, research, family, friends, and even Melisa’s boss for knowledge and comfort.

But knowing the diagnosis and living with the diagnosis are two very different things. The gradual decline in Melisa’s memory was one of the hardest parts. Forgetfulness increased, and her ability to do many of the things she had always done decreased. By the end of 2017, she had taken disability retirement.

Then, in 2020, I retired so I could stay home with her. Three months later, COVID hit and the world shut down. Isolation set in, and Melisa’s decline accelerated.

One of the things that surprised me most throughout all of this was how positive Melisa’s overall outlook remained. For a long time, I found real joy in being able to be with her all the time – keeping her safe, busy, and happy. As the disease progressed, some of that joy was replaced by stress and grief as the wife I knew was slowly vanishing.

Melisa and I did have the chance to attend the Jewish Family Service Adult Day Program. It gave Melisa a safe place to be with people on the same journey, and it gave me a little time to myself. But I didn’t fully understand yet how important it was for me to have support, too.

Creative Connections has become a great source of that support. Today, I serve as a co-facilitator for the caregiver support group at West Chester Creative Connections. I may be designated a “co-facilitator,” but I get as much support and positive vibes as any of the other caregivers. There is something powerful about being with people who don’t need a long explanation because they understand. They know what it is like to feel patient one minute and completely overwhelmed the next. They know the grief of watching someone they love change. And they know there can still be laughter, connection, and good days mixed in with the difficult ones.

If I could tell someone at the beginning of this journey one thing, it would be this:

Get connected with resources sooner rather than later. Seek knowledgeable medical professionals early so you understand what you are dealing with. Recognize your limits. Ask for help. You do not have to wait until you are exhausted or in crisis. And try not to let the challenges overshadow the blessings.

There are blessings throughout this journey. For me, some of them were very simple. A song, a strong beat, Melisa smiling, the opportunity to spend another day together.

Alzheimer’s changed so much about our lives, but it cannot take away the wonderful memories we made together. The disease cannot take those memories away from you.

Did this story remind you of one of your own?

Whether you’re living with dementia, supporting someone you love, working alongside families, or carrying a memory that matters, we’d be honored to hear it.